“All change is hard at first, messy in the middle and gorgeous in the end…” – Robin Sharma
This year is the year that things didn’t happen the way I planned it early on–I didn’t get to travel as much as I’ve wanted but I’ve reached farther destinations; I didn’t get to pursue a new career but I got an even bigger responsibility! It was really when I dared to embrace change and embraced my greatness, when things really started happening. I didn’t thought I’d get the goals I got to check this year but I got ’em all! Even goals that I forgot I even wanted to achieve before. Trust and compassion made everything finally fall into place.
I always pride myself in saying that I grew each year and 2016 was no different. And if I must say, this was a year where I focus on what mattered most–relationships. I declared that this get to be #love2016 and it sure did. Not in the way I imagined it but it was a year where I get to appreciate relationships that I have.
For the new friends that I gained this year, for those that I discovered where true friends who’ll stay and for those who just came to teach me a lesson and for those longtime friends who I don’t doubt would still be there year after year; and for my family who in itself is changing and growing also, I am truly grateful.
2016 taught me to balance my life, make my relationships work and my career blossom. So cheers to another year, let’s keep on choosing love say yes to a wonderful 2017! #Yes2017
I’m scared of you. I resist you. I force myself not to be close to you. Because you might be the guy who would hurt again.Yet, I can’t stop staring. I can’t stop thinking of you.
Fear takes over the console of my mind just like how it is in Inside Out. He pushes buttons here and there alerting me of different scenarios that I have created in my head. But when I start staring, Joy pushes Fear away. When I look at you, I do not see you immediately but I see the shape of your eyes and how your dimples show up when you smile and how that smiles crooks to one side some times. As I look at you, what I see is myself waking up next to you in the morning. Snuggling as the Christmas wind blows. Then falling asleep again to be awoken by light kisses atop my head. Then I blink. I remembered that shit scares me. The morning image in my heads swirls and gets blown away leaving me wide eyed and dazed.
It’s scary because it means I’d be allowing myself to experience everything all at once again. To be vulnerable and strip down all the shield and chains that is protecting my heart. It would be I’ll be giving my renewed and mended heart to you. And that includes the possibility of it getting wounded again. I hold back the emotions in fear of you having the power to hurt me. I have held on this power for years now. It is this power that shields me from all the hurt from the outside world. And I know as long as I keep on holding it, I’d be fine.
But that’s the thing, I’m just fine. Then I look at you again and I know I want to be more than just fine. I want to be consumed by the fire that builds up whenever when we are physically close. Or even when that closeness is just in my head. When I allow myself to feel all these emotions I get excited with the idea of climbing mountains with you, diving down deep into the blue and just moving on from one adventure to the next. I want to do everything all at once. Then I go back to that morning scene in my head and begin smiling and finding the keys to the chains I have hidden for so long.
Then I blink. I snap back to reality that I am scared of you. As I hold on to the keys, maybe, just maybe, that morning scene will change everything. And from there, Joy takes over the console once again. And in that moment I realized I’m still looking at you.
I wasn’t expecting to meet anyone. For 7 months, I didn’t want anything to do with the chaotic and ruinous world of dating. After all, my last breakup had left me jaded, emotionally exhausted, and a bit apathetic about romantic love in general. “It’s all just a ruse based on cheesy-ass, saccharine romantic comedies starring Rachel McAdams, and I want out!!”, I’d grumble to myself as I buried my head in work.
Life is not perfect. People aren’t perfect. You, dear reader, are not perfect. And that’s okay. But having beliefs that any of these things “should” be the way you want causes you a lot of unnecessary suffering.
Many of your irrational beliefs are not immediately obvious. Sometimes you’ll have to dig to find them. And you’ll need to dispute them a fair amount before new reasonable beliefs kick in. But you can definitely make progress.
Looking back, I’m amazed where I got the energy from, to travel this much, this year. Not even counting the destinations but the months away from the city, 7 out of 12, since there are times na may ganap twice a month. Just goes to show when you’re passionate over something, you just don’t get tired, you just go. 🙂
January – none, save..
February – Elyu, Baguio
March – Mt. Bulusan
April – rest
May – Zambales
June – Apo Reef
July – Baler
August – Baguio
September – rest
October – rest, ALC staffing
November – Japan, Anilao
December – holiday shopping!
Every spontaneus go, without knowing how, who or why is an adventure in itself; which taught me to trust myself more, really find joy in life’s simple moments and completely surrender to what will be.
For the new and old friends I shared this #Go2015 with, I’m truly grateful. This year has indeed been about grace and compassion, as Pope Francis said it would be. I just didn’t expect that it would also be a year of abundance and courage.
If you’re like me, you’re an extroverted introvert. You can be outgoing, yet you desperately need your alone time.
You can’t do that. You’re one or the other.
No, this is how I am. And that’s how many other people are. But we’re often misunderstood.
Take for instance, people often see me as completely, inarguably, extroverted because that’s the personality that gets the most attention. The other side of me, the side that stays home and reads all day, doesn’t get any attention (but I love doing that, take a look at my reading list if you don’t believe me).
Around a week ago, just when my birth month started, my faith and trust to the entire universe were tested. I lost my Sony Xperia Z cell phone.
In all the years since I first owned one, while my brothers and Dad keep getting theirs stolen or lost, I only lost mine once. It was just the extra phone I was using to have both Globe and Smart networks. It wasn’t my primary smartphone so I did not count that as something really major. Though I have to change that Globe number (which I have since college, I think) since friends keep complaining that they can’t call me through Globe and I was just using that as my Viber number. LOL.
Anyway, Ronnie and I were at the SM cinema that time, scheduled to watch The Breakup Playlist (hi Papa Pi! Haha) –on its second screening day. I was enjoying my Jollibee cheeseburger when Ronnie decided to change seats because the group beside us where noisy and started giving loud comments during the trailers. And so I just put the burger and fries back in the paper bag and in my bag, never minding to arrange them since I’d be continuing my dinner once we’re seated.
After finishing my jolly cheeseburger meal, I started fixing my stuff. I kept scrambling in my bag for my phone to put it in silent mode since the movie is just about to start. It was minutes before the Abs-cbn opening billboard started fading in the screen. After a few moments, I whispered to Ronnie, “nawawala ata ang cellphone ko.” And so he stood up and went back to the row where we first sat and tried to check the ground since there are people already seated. I was also checking our own row and the spaces around my chair, but we didn’t find it. Continue reading →