Expecto Patronum

Expecto Patronumย is the correct classical Latin for “I await a protector” ~Wiki

(Last Friday’s post. Internet was stupid and kept on disconnecting tsk. And no. This ain’t a review about the last book or thoughts about the upcoming movie. Hrhrhr.)

Have you ever got the feeling of wanting to cast your own patronus charm to ward of the doom and gloom swarming around you and sucking every bit of happiness there is? I do. More often these days. Or maybe this is brought about by having finished Harry Potter Book 7 again? Hmm. It starts out with the feeling of “Oh no,” while anticipating the next negative moment; the chilly coldness runs up to my fingertips even if I shake them off; and then comes the big “ugh” after the “oh no”. It’s like sadness waiting to erupt. It’s crazy. It’s half knowing what the cause is and half expecting that there’s something else. Or maybe I’m just psychic? Tch. There are times when there’s enough happy memories to get the energy of the patronus from, and there are times when it just feels so low that it felt like when Harry was wearing the Horcrux making it more difficult to see light and hope in life.

Hmm. I think only Harry Potter fans can get what I’m trying to say, eh?

Clarity. Peace. Serenity. I have always loved that line from Big Girl’s Don’t Cry. ๐Ÿ™‚ Where can we find that nowadays? I find it ony the best people there is on earth (a.k.a. my friends). It’s in between talking about weird illnesses and diseases over dinner, getting lost and finding the right house, chopping each other’s hair and epilating our legs after, eating a bit salty noodles with some soggy and rough creamed dessert and pictures. The talks, whether against me or in favor of my opinion, keeps me sane through these chaotic and discombobulating “mess” that I have sunkย in. I tend to talk in figures of speech that thankfully my friends can understand.

What gets us those little heavens? Last week’s gospel was talking about little upliftments, little heavens in our everyday life. I have been praying for simple happiness for quite a while now. And maybe not mine entirely but for you who needed it maybe more than I do? Sigh. This is one of those times when since you’re not a wizard to eradicate those negative vibes at a single swish of the wand, all you can do is pray and hope that things really do get better. A day when you can breathe easily and more importantly, happily again.

Or should I just really try to join the lottery? Will I be luckier? Boo. =|

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