God, grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change; The courage to change the things that I can; And the wisdom to know the difference. ~Reinhold Niebuhr
Today feels weird and I can’t seem to pinpoint what and why. Maybe it’s because I’m too tired of walking around today and it’s too hot to be outside the office. Gah. For real, it’s like you’re gonna toast outside these days! But then, what can it be, it’s like he came back and disrupted my peace. 😦 Then there’s Mitch not being there and we three are trying are best to be still happy and not talk about it every chance we got. So there’s the thought of my jealous weird reactions lately relating to “what should be just nothing.” Sigh. These are just ramblings.
I have several design assignments lined up. The problem with people knowing that you have the capability to do creative stuff is that they expect you to CAN do anything relating to designs and the likes. And it’s not easy. I feel like I have so much more to learn, well, not feel but know. I don’t know how to go about Adobe Illustrator when in fact I know that it’s the best tool for what I have been doing. I don’t know Adobe Premier and I’m making a video right now. *sobs* I dunno where our Pinnacle installer is, which was what I used during DevCom days, thus I resulted to Movie Maker. The Photodex Proshow which was too easy didn’t give it that *class* I was looking for. Sigh.
Hmm. So maybe that’s where this ramblings are coming from. Feeling ko nabobobo na ako sa ginagawa ko kasi wala akong matutunan na iba pa. 😦 I want to learn more on designs if that’s where I’d really be heading to. I forgot how it is to write serious articles now. Gah. I told myself not to think about future stuff when it’s just hours before bedtime but sigh I can’t help it.
Then there’s him who I know I have really gotten over with but it irritates me that I still get rattled whenever he’s too near me. It’s like I have this defense bubble like Violet from the Incredibles or Jean-Gray of X-men, and it’s only him who can penetrate that and dissolve it…when on the first place it was created to shoo him away. Tch. Or maybe these are just hormones and would be over once my period ends in a day or two.
Life. Love. Crappiness and serenity. That serenity prayer is one thing that keeps me sane too. 🙂
Midlife crisis, eh?