I suddenly doubted myself if I am being true to my press release claiming that I am okay. Aprille called for a good morning chit chat asking if I really was, I kept convincing her last night that I am. So now, am I really? Ironically, the Simbang Gabi sermon was about doubts. And yeah, even if I was yawning most of the time, I wasn’t asleep. Haha. Doubts, the priest said, are ants in the pants–they keep you alive and moving. Then it would either leave you destroyed or leave you with more spunk in life.
Well, yeah it feels weird that I woke up as if nothing happened, but then again, we only stripped ourselves from the label of the relationship and was just being true that we are really great as friends. I shouldn’t feel that sad, right? Yes, sadly it didn’t work out but…hmmm…so maybe I should have a moment of sadness? But that’s stupid, I’ve been down for sometime because of him already. He was checking my reaction last night if I was about to cry and was surprised that I looked like as if nothing was just declared. No depression, he told me, he doesn’t want me crying for him. Too late, I said punching him, but not as hard as I could. Tsk.
I will miss sniffing him. I don’t know how I got that habit but I just loved snuggling my face in his big arms or chest and just inhale him. And there it goes, I am feeling it. With that, I am off to sleep again. It’s around 7:30am, I woke up around 4am for the mass earlier.