Sex and the City Marathon

I just spent the day mostly on my bed watching Sex and the City series. Why oh why did I let this one pass during my college days when everyone else was watching it?? Hrhr. Then again, I wasn’t into this sex stuff until I had my first serious boyfriend then I wasn’t that open to talking about anything that got to do with it until I lived in the city.

My mood apparently was nonetheless stable today. I wasn’t sad nor was too happy. I was fine. All the prep talks and girl talks from the series makes me either think positively or just won’t let me think about me at all. But then despite the giddiness from watching it, I did my usual pause between episodes to Tumblr, Facebook, chat and the all the others; there I saw on my Facebook news feed, our faces–a post from him which would naturally mean I get to see my photo too as it was his profile picture. There came the shocking knot on my chest that goes with the thought, who am I kidding, I’m not okay. I’m just good at pretending that I am.

Now, I just finised an episode titled They Shoot Single People, Don’t They? And it hit me that I had to pause and talk to Karrie for awhile. Thus resulting to this make me smile segment. What is it with being in a relationship that just complicates things? We were just so fucking great when we didn’t have that label. At times like this I wish we were just normal friends, then maybe I would have felt it more. These are just my rants that should not be taken against me.

In that episode, Samatha said: “Sometimes you just need to hear a we.” Is this my case too? Am I holding on just because I want someone to call as my boyfriend? Someone automatic to text good morning and good night? Us..We.. My friend said that I’m just fooling myself, that after all these years I got on this label again that I can’t accept the fact that it’s not working. Is it? Am I just in this illusion that this would really work? Am I the only one left believing that we can still do this? Am I just faking it?

I love him. I do. But is that enough to wait for him to decide what he really wants? I know being in a relationship would mean more expectations and pressure but I think it would also mean more love than when you were in the friends stage. Oh well. I’m just rambling…..

“No matter how much it hurts, sometimes it’s better to be alone than fake it.” -Sex and the City, Season 2.

Friends for Sale

Gahh. I was suppose to update my blog earlier but was caught in the buying friends as pets game in Facebook. LOL.

If only we can buy people. Bwahahaha. Well, technically and literally some can. Hmmm. Then maybe there’d be less drama. LOL. I dunno how that statements get to be connected. Ugh. Internet is so full of drama. But as Carmi said, it’s just the net. And yes, once we decided to stop the drama, we just have to disconnect. Sigh. People do really have a way of complicating things that aren’t supposed to be complicated. Arguments that are just supposed to be petty quarrels and not a full pledge pride war. Sigh.

Drama. Drama. Drama. I hate it but I know life is boring without it. Hahaha. Whatevs…..

I’m off to sleep. Done buying friends for the day. LOL. And I know my pets have been bought from me by the time I get up. Haha.

in the midst of swine flu. lol.

Due to my Facebook post earlier: hindi ako mataray. sumasagot lang ako. most of the time it’s not about you. lols. this blog came about.

I’m not mataray. I think most of the time I am. Hahaha.

Funny how just by acquiring some colds and headaches you wake up feeling better the day after and then fully awake. Awake with the rational thoughts you once had. Done with the illusions and you remember why you didn’t want it before. And why now shouldn’t be anything different.

He’s different from you. Yes, they say opposites attract but at some point you’re both the say emotionally which is very unpleasant with it becomes the low tides. Too much emotions. Too much drama. It’s sickening. And that’s when you remember why it wouldn’t work. And why you wouldn’t want it again. Well, it’s not really wouldn’t like it but the the elated and euphoric feeling you thought you had suddenly burst.

And you’re left with the reality that you want something greater than you. Something who can keep you grounded, correct you, adore you, and simply accept all your flaws.

There are so many rules in the so called “in a relationship” status. None of them gets followed regularly. We make our own rules. And most of the time, we break them. We make promises at the spur of the moment but then at times have to break them.

What do you do when you promise someone you’ll kiss him when you meet? But then as time passes and chances too, when you can easily meet but didn’t exert that much effort, feelings also passes….how can one keep his promise that way?

It is crazy and immature to dwell on these things. Most of the time they make it all about themselves when in fact you’re just freakin’ sick! The heck. Can you just let me be for awhile??

And so the flu passes by. I got well. And so that my thoughts. Illusions disappear and real things and emotions face me.

I know people change. Maybe I’m sorry for changing, and yet again. Maybe I did hurt you once again. And hopefully, it wouldn’t happen again. You will grow up, and so will I. Then we can really know the spelling and definition of Friends.