akward or annoyed

I didn’t get the job. Tch. Sad. Oh well I guess not for me then. Sigh.

I’m thinking now if I am guilty of hurting someone again. But then I get annoyed. I don’t think so. I will try not to disappear, that is if I don’t get too annoyed. sigh. Sorry. But tch.

There are things you hope for, there are things you’d patiently wait for and save for so that you can have it in the end. And there are also people you long for, and people you really wait for, either to come or comeback.

But as there are these people, there are also those you seemingly wait for. I never thought I’d get tired of waiting because I am really a patient person, stupid at times when it comes to this stuff. But I did. Ging told me I woke up. That big edge to signal or push you and tell you that it’s really worth waiting for disappeared  I guess.

I need attention. I want attention. Immature and KSP. LOL. And maybe that was the trigger factor. Someone gave it to me. Someone else even if that someone doesn’t mean anything more but an online buddy. But he did care enough to make me smile and entertain my plain thoughts.

And so here we are again. Just like last year. They say, things that happened once may not happen again but things that happened twice will surely happen the third time. So I guess suffice to say this is it.  Just like last year, where we are again. A choice between being akward or being annoyed. And unconsciously, I chose the latter.

As they say, people don’t really leave, their roles just changed.

Hmm.. next goal. Keep the heart chained for the meantime.

da return of da stupid comeback

LOLs. Fine at more than half of it, it’s not funny. It was purely irritation. But sigh, I should have blogged this earlier so that I can tell what really happened, not like now that I’m looking all silly and smiley.

But anyway scenario was batchamte was texting me all afternoon asking where I was. Duh out of the blue, so typically no replies from me. Then he called. And said he wanna meet up, or rather someone want to see me. Then next thing I knew I was talking to him. OMFG. I got annoyed beyond comprehension upon hearing him laugh. LOL dude I’m not laughing. I don’t want anything to do with him anymore. It was part of the past wherein one would have no trouble deciding to burn and bury.

And so I told them that. Well simpler terms he’d understand. LOL. And the response that I got was that yes he was also totally over me and he just want to make chitchat. WTF. For what??? We are not friends. That’s it. Bottom line. Punch line. Could never be friends. But still they insist and I got another message this time from him asking me what the heck is my problem, it is so over three years now and all he wants to do is talk. WTF again. “kung over ka na bakit ayaw mo magpakita? what’s the problem?!” WTFGHSFDHG!!! And how in the world did it suddenly get to be my problem??

And so that wasn’t the end of it. I kept texting our common friend that I had enough of it and that he, the friend, I will surely see soon but not the stupid. Oh yeah I can call you whatever fuckin name I want. Weeee LOLs. Anyway, next up was I heard the friend calling out my name outside since they already said they’re here. WTF. Harr. Good thing Dad was home today to shoo them away. Told them I was asleep when all of know otherwise.

Turned off my phone after the last message. LOL at these people. Pushing someone like us to be “close” again. The problem with having a small town with most of your high school classmates living in it is that, it is indeed a small town and even if people who can likely bump into each other doesn’t do so, there would still be forces in letting you cross paths again even if you clearly and obviously screamed you don’t want to.

A waste of time, a waste of energy from extreme irritation and annoyance. But as someone said, do not let the ex affect you.

in the midst of swine flu. lol.

Due to my Facebook post earlier: hindi ako mataray. sumasagot lang ako. most of the time it’s not about you. lols. this blog came about.

I’m not mataray. I think most of the time I am. Hahaha.

Funny how just by acquiring some colds and headaches you wake up feeling better the day after and then fully awake. Awake with the rational thoughts you once had. Done with the illusions and you remember why you didn’t want it before. And why now shouldn’t be anything different.

He’s different from you. Yes, they say opposites attract but at some point you’re both the say emotionally which is very unpleasant with it becomes the low tides. Too much emotions. Too much drama. It’s sickening. And that’s when you remember why it wouldn’t work. And why you wouldn’t want it again. Well, it’s not really wouldn’t like it but the the elated and euphoric feeling you thought you had suddenly burst.

And you’re left with the reality that you want something greater than you. Something who can keep you grounded, correct you, adore you, and simply accept all your flaws.

There are so many rules in the so called “in a relationship” status. None of them gets followed regularly. We make our own rules. And most of the time, we break them. We make promises at the spur of the moment but then at times have to break them.

What do you do when you promise someone you’ll kiss him when you meet? But then as time passes and chances too, when you can easily meet but didn’t exert that much effort, feelings also passes….how can one keep his promise that way?

It is crazy and immature to dwell on these things. Most of the time they make it all about themselves when in fact you’re just freakin’ sick! The heck. Can you just let me be for awhile??

And so the flu passes by. I got well. And so that my thoughts. Illusions disappear and real things and emotions face me.

I know people change. Maybe I’m sorry for changing, and yet again. Maybe I did hurt you once again. And hopefully, it wouldn’t happen again. You will grow up, and so will I. Then we can really know the spelling and definition of Friends.