Worst Failure

I got the job! Oh, I have not asked about the pay yet. Weeee still this means I can save up for a dSLR. Doh. My fickle mind rejoices at that thought primarily and not because I get to stay home and that I would have a job next year.

The final interview was with their Quality Assurance Officer, surprised that there’s such a position in a school, or is there really something like that? Oh well, as somewhat an “expert” in interviews, like duh I have been going to more than several interviews this year that I lost count (for real), I had answered him with what’s left of my call center agent’s twang spontaneously. Typical interview questions and situations though, like how do you describe yourself, you family, why did I resign, nature of job before, greatest achievement and the like. One thing though that caught me off guard was “What was your worst failure?” I just repeated the phrase and stared at the wall (so as not to stare at him) for a full 5 seconds I think.

Seriously, I cannot think of one situation or incident at that time. I had easily answered what is my greatest achievement (even thought I have yet to decide if that’s really it) which would be having a byline at an international magazine from my previous job or having been on site at the conference, etc. Dad said I should have answered him with “I have to experience that yet.” Is that because I haven’t regretted all the big things and stupid things that had happened in my life? I think so. Another thought that came to me when he asked that was on relationships, haha. Maybe I should have said that, that’s the area I am usually failing at this phase in my life.

I was a good student ever since and have not failed a subject, not even once. I have not encountered “failing” in that sense of the word. But they didn’t teach how to love and be lovable in school, those are just the few things I have to learn on my own. I guess that’s part of the self-study curriculum, so to speak. And with that, with not having a clear plan of study regarding that matter, I often fail.

Carrie: I do not pick the wrong guys. They pick me.
Miranda: So what, you’re like a flystrip for dysfunctional men?
Carrie: Yeah, but one of those really pretty floral scented ones

By the way, I answered him with not being able to graduate with honors. As if that mattered that much to me back in college. LOL. Not even my parents think it’s that important to get a Cum Laude standing. Though too bad because I didn’t get a medal at this graduation, but aside from that I didn’t really beat myself for not getting that average. I was just off by .04. Heee.

—

Oh crap, I just realized the Sex and the City DVD that I’m watching has incomplete episodes. Must. Buy. Later.

Online drama

Late post again…

July 8, 2009

Adik sa’yo…awit sa akin…

And so the song keeps playing on my mind. Funny series. And now my mind becomes blank. I have an interview again tomorrow. And today I also saw a job posting from IRRI. My heart skipped. It’s IRRI even if it’s here. If I get a job offer there I wouldn’t be hesitating to accept it. Sigh. With great hopes of course that Carmi and Tito and Tita would understand. But no use worrying about that now hahaha as I haven’t even applied. LOL

….Mine said he missed me. There goes that line to sure to soften me. Garr.. We weren’t in speaking terms since the other day. LOLs. Committed the biggest blunder guys would do. LOL. Well, maybe not the biggest but synonymous to that at least, since it didn’t happen face to face AND hindi naman kami. LOL. But still, a big ego blow for me to be called by an endearment used for another. Fine ang babaw. But..Hmf. LOLz. Then Arvin points out again na hindi nga naman kami at chat lang yon and nagkamali lang thus “lol” was just his answer when I asked for his opinion. Fine. But I was upset. Hmmmm.

But then again, all’s been said and done. No use crying over spilled milk and all those cliché. And this is just online drama Sigh…. all I gotta do is to disconnect and poof real life continues. They may just even be fictional characters in my life. Sad to say. There are some things that can’t be real. Even if you wish them to be…….

Some people might really just remain a yellow bulb in your messenger list which you only get to talk to when you connect to the big tangles of the world-wide web.

Trains

No easy access on the net during our stay at the apartment last week. I chose to rest all night long and get acquainted with the TV again too. LOL

July 3, 2009

Almost three days and two nights in the city now. She remembers this life. Fast paced. Lighted by the countless vehicles and street lamps at night. Malls and coffee shops just around the corner. The satisfying yet expensice life. LOL. She fumbles for some change and gets a card for the first train. City life is like riding the MRT — fast, busy, full of people, irritating at certain points and just plain uni-directional at the fast tracks. A life one would certainly want more than half the time given the perks of her job.

And then she walks through the elegant mall, transitioning between trains. She again searches for coins while being awed by the other station. Classy. Quiet. Something that only reflects a tinted memory of having been there. Five minutes, says the digital reminder, til the next train arrives. Five minutes, waiting for her chance, her moment, her time. This station represents waiting. Waiting for your train. And if it arrives, you then decides if you’ll take that or wait for the next one. But if you let it pass that would be another five minutes lost just by standing there waiting. Five minutes that you can’t get back and rewind. And so she gets in. It’s different. The LRT2 train is slow. It’s taking it’s time. Maybe even too much time. But, it is relaxed. Just like the way one should live….

TBC…

I don’t know what I was actually thinking off when I wrote this..Hiiihii.. Metaphors and other representations. Hmmm.. Maybe I was in deep thoughts then of what I want to happen next.. To wait or to jump for the next train.

0623 smiles

1. Another interview set on Thursday. Oh God let this be the one.

2. Buzz and his questions for the day. Not LOLing on the question but the way he bombards me with the questions. Boys. HAHAH

3. Glenn and Mafia wars. LOL. Short chat about FB applications, Japanese films, etc. Plain funny, dunno why. Haha. Again, Boys. And he gave me my remaining collections to complete the vaults weeeee!!

4. I’m liking how I do auto-edits (automatic selection of what I do with my pics. lol) I just have to remember how to repeat them. LOL. That’s harder.

5. Karrie’s adik vid — simply hilarious.

6. Carbonara for dinner. Even if I got burned while cooking it, it’s really yummy.

sunset at sunrise

June 15, 2009

(AM: blogged at Starbucks last Monday before  a job interview)

For once I was early. Monday traffic even cooperated. I started our the day early by looking at a lovely sunset photo. How ironic but I felt like the day just ended well and it was just around 4:30am.

I sit now waiting for time. Letting my tongue cool down after sipping my hot cappuccino with 5 packets of sugar I believe. Hah. I look across the street. Normal car flow. I remembered this long stretch of road in Shaw Blvd. and how I was also blogging about it years ago. Thank goodness I haven’t seen any old office mates. I’d feel weird. Haha.

The sun is even shinning brightly. That’s different since every time I go to an interview/exam there’s a heavy downpour even before I can reach the building. Hmmm.. A sign? Maybe today would be different. Maybe this week would be different. I hope so.

Nobody can you the sun or the moon in reality. But one can capture the perfect setting for you if you can’t be together to share it.

(PM: blogged after the interview in the bus)

The sun was there. So much for my supposedly happy blog today. Gah. When will the time come when I would be deliriously happy after a job interview/exam?? Gahhhr. It wasn’t a company that I expected. It’s like a call center also and I’d rather not go back to that callin’ world. It would be fine I guess if it would just be writing in a call center world. But please no calls.

Depression hits when you feel that even your parents get “inip” na with your just bumming around the house. Gawwd. How I wish I could have my independence again. Oh well. Ramblings in my mind while waiting for the bus to move.

Three Months

June 5, 2009

[Disclaimer: Long and deep thoughts of my life for 2009. Drama mode. LOL]

There are times when you just suddenly sit and think. Literally sit down, stare into space and drown in your thoughts. You think of what happened during the day that made you smile and that made you feel crappy. Then those thoughts doesn’t stop, it overflows so you get a pen and write it down. Like me. Harr.

It’s exactly been three months since I resigned from what I used to think as a “claim to fame” job (hypnotic dreaming pala). I never expected it to be this long. Around March time, Dad was already telling me to apply. Nah. TOO EARLY. I haven’t had a summer outing and I’m still feeling burn out.

Came April I had my Sagada adventure. I went climbing, hiking, spelunking and kiliging (huwat?!).  Greatest adventure of my life by far. That was early April. When we returned home I said, “next week na lang” [mag-aapply]… then “next week na..” as I was currently addicted to facebook games and really enjoying my break. As April was ending, I got bored. Boredom hit home. So I surf through Jobstreet and applied here and there.

I got 6 exams/interviews naman out of the 10 I clicked then. Not bad I thought. I was really looking for THE job. Besides, Mom kept telling me to wait and don’t jump at the first sign on a job. The interviews and exams kept me “busy” but came May, nothing still.

Mom then asked me if I wanted to come to Palawan with her since my cousin is coming too (officemates sila nung tito ko). I half-heartedly said no, declaring that I’ll have a job na by then. Tch. The week before their trip, I had an exam at a Telecom company for a marketing position, which I wasn’t 100% into (which reminds me I haven’t called back for the results). I was feeling bummed at that point. Well, I wanna see the Davids concert din kaya ako badtrip. Harhar.

So being the irresponsible and impractical kid that I am, I booked a flight to Palawan and joined them. Thank God for credit cards at this down down moments. I know I’ll be having a Bex-case scenario [shoppaholic series] if I don’t get a job pa.

And now here I am. It’s June. Panic attacks. Thinking that my “would be housemate” kupo would be moving in or starting Manila life next week and wala pa sya housemate. sucky for me. Have faith. Trust in Him. Thy will be done. Is all I can think of next. Sigh.

I woke up crappy today. PMS-ing I guess. And just maybe stressing out on the job hunt, thinking of my current heart complication, wanting things…etc. But the day ended well, I think.. Except for the fact that I have tons of things in my mind and this blog is getting so long.

My Flickr friends made me smile today, made me laugh, made me annoyed and kilig. My plurkmates kept me entertained the whole day. Carmi and Aps were online to make kulit. And he missed me, he said. Another big smile for me then.

See not all bad..Carmi said I’m on F5 mode today. But still… sigh….
Pa-hug na lang.