Load Credits

For several months I was so used at not having load everyday. When I was working in Alabang it was enough that I had some to text home that I’m on my way since I usually go home past 9pm and arrive around past 11pm here. I was amused as how my little brothers seem to just use up their load credits as if it was water–always needed. Xylon and I usually tell them that during our high school years load was really precious since there were not unlimited texting promos. LOL.

Anyway, well yeah, of course the main reason why I don’t care if I have load or not is because I don’t have that somebody to text with every minute of everyday unlike during the boyfriend times. Since I haven’t had a job for the past months people rarely expect me to respond to text messages haha.

I think I’m in a detox mode. Detoxification from all the complications that a heart-related matters bring about. It’s been two weeks I think that I haven’t been crushing or liking or loving anyone. LOL. Pretty short I know. For me between those days, after hearing that he has a girlfriend already and now relatively long enough that I have not been giddy over someone. I’m not the type who bounce from one guy to the next. I just bounce between crushes. So high schooly and immature I know but it being giddy at random parts of the day because of someone makes me happy. Haha. Tch. Immaturity attack. LOL.

Being the eldest with siblings way younger than me makes me so adaptable to people younger than me to people older I guess. This I believe is one of the reasons why my maturity level is still like them as well. Wahhaha. I don’t deny that I’m still immature; but I won’t say that I’m not mature at some aspects as well. We were raised to be so dependent and spoiled I think. Even thought we don’t have much, I feel that we are spoiled. Not brats though. We are spoiled in a way for me which means that we are so secure when at home. It’s like even if things are being cut short, money problems and all, there would always be time when we could splurge and get rewarded.

I’m rambling. Haha. This wasn’t what I was suppose to blog about but when words form in my mind, they just won’t stop. Thus, the ramblings and off topic statements. What I was just trying to point out is that my cell phone has been alive for the past days nonstop.

I think what I’m feeling right now again is security. I was mentioning about load because for the last two weeks as well, even if I lost him, I got close to another friend. And we’re at the state where we don’t care about what we tell each other; from gross stuff, serious, funny and at the moment stuff. Plain nothings that makes me want to have load all the time, because for as long as I can remember I begin to disconnect once again from the Internet. Something I have been trying sooo hard to do these past few months. Having an online-based love story would naturally have you want to go online all the time. But now, there’s no point. I find those stuff I do online less interesting. I’d rather watch some TV series and text all day again. It’s comforting this way. It’s just nice. It’s so freakin’ nice when you can have a purely platonic relationship with a guy knowing that he’s safe ground. Someone without any expectations, someone who’s not hoping for something else because he wants someone else. Just purely light, bubbly and stupid conversations each time.

I love chick flicks; simple and just feel good movies. This friendship that we got here is just like that–a feel good movie–no dramas involve. For that I thank him.