Curved Bullet

I thought it would a one fine day. I was so happy earlier. I was so giddy.. but then as they say too much of something will be a big loss also. But I never expected this.

I know it might hit me but I didn’t expect it so soon. The target wasn’t directly positioned to the line of sight thus it would take a great deal to shoot it. But then, there’s such a thing like a curved bullet (like in the movie Wanted). Even if Wilbur was hanging in front of it, even if it was taken from a moving train, a curved hit will almost make the target. And when it does, it sucks.

Familiar feeling, hands became clammy, nose feels funny, throat tightens, eyes blinks so fast as to try to keep up with what was forming inside. Cho was just asking me how I really felt earlier and I gave him my usual answer, “no” or at least “not yet”. And now, poof. Ouch was all I can think of. Bull’s eye. It even seemed like I was carrying the red cloth and the bull ran head on.

I still laugh the night off. Plurk friends to keep me company with the stupid misery. Stupid heart. Stupid mind. Why did I let myself get so vulnerable? Sigh. Why can’t I learn this enough? Why do I always let myself get burned.

Sigh. Useless wonderings. Life goes on. I can just turn off the laptop or the modem and things go back to normal. Live real life not online life. It’s just a simple disconnect from the messenger, a simple offline mode in Facebook and then he doesn’t exist somehow…. but then, there’s still the ouch somewhere….

For now, sleep is my comfort.